On a trip to visit my relatives in China, I came across a very interesting practice. In Singapore, it is normal that shoes are to be taken off and placed outside the house. Such behavior is logical since shoes are usually dirty from walking on outside roads and pavements. It does not make sense to dirty the floor and then sweep it after that. Most Singaporeans are still a pragmatic lot. However, I was in for a surprise over on my trip to China. I "politely" took my shoes off when I went to visit their house but I was urged to wear my shoes into the house by my relatives and was told not to stand on ceremony. In fact, wearing shoes into the house is such an important practice to them, they said that they would not step into a house if they could not wear their shoes in.
Forward a few years and now was their turn to visit Singapore. They dropped by my place on their trip and then suddenly we thought about what was said a few years back. What about their shoes? Would they wear them in? Should we hold on to our usual practice of not wearing shoes in the house or should we make an exception? Fortunately, they decided to adapt to our culture whilst they were in Singapore and not turn this into a difficult situation.
What does this situation tell us? It is not a conflict in all sense of the word but it is still a situation. It was also a potentially difficult scenario which thankfully did not erupt into anything ugly. It might not be the hardest conflict to solve but it does tell us a few things. Firstly, cultures and practices change drastically from place to place. I considered the practice of taking my shoes off as being polite while they felt that it was impolite not to be allowed with their shoes in. Secondly, we must learn to be sensitive and adapt so as to prevent the cross-cultural differences from causing any big problems. For my case, my relatives and I both adapted accordingly and hence no conflict arose. Thirdly, we should keep ourselves informed so that we can pre-empt any differences that can become causes of disagreements.
Everyone has their own set of filters. For the same situation, it might gardner extremely different responses from different people. On top of the lessons learnt from my example, there is at least one more learning point that was not included. Cross-cultures might be a problem but it could also turn into an advantageous position. Not all surprises are bad. If you could impress somone of another culture with your sensitivity and your knowledge of their culture, the "problem" might actually work in your favour.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone and enjoy your holidays.
