It happened roughly a year back. I was the team manager for my own football team that was made up of my JC and secondary school friends. It was a new team and the conflict occurred during our first few field games. The conflict between my key player and me started on the field nearing the end of the game. Let us call him B for convenience. B is a very talented player who is also quite influential in the team. He is also a very determined character who hates to lose. Additionally, he has been a long time friend since secondary three.
I shall now attempt to describe the scenario in detail. It was nearing the end of the match and the team was down by 3 goals. B, who was playing as a defender, decided to give up the formation and ran all the way up to attack.
Furious I shouted at him, "What are you doing up there? Can you stick to the plan?"
B replied angrily, "Why defend when we are 3 goals down? Of course we should go for an all out attack."
I replied, "If we want to score, we must still play with patience. Pushing bodies up impulsively will not bring us any goals. We might just concede more in the end and the game will be over."
Basically it was a quarrel within the game due to differences in opinions which erupted in an angry confrontation.
The possible causes could be narrowed down to three reasons. Firstly, we were losing and everyone was incrasingly frustrated. Secondly, his determination to win and my stubborness to stick to the plan was another source of conflict. Lastly, there was complete lack of communication. B did not discuss with me about changing the formation nor did I instruct the team to stick to the plan until I make a change.
What could have been done to avoid the conflict? Also, what could be done after the quarrel so that the relationship can still be as good as before.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sing Like A Lion
Why this title? Singapore is my home and the lion is a very important symbol to us. However, lions are everywhere. What makes the difference is our nationality. The Sing actually signifies this nationality and this Singing Lion is a unique entity that refers to us as a country and as Singaporeans. This was supposed to be my blog address until I was dissuaded to drop the idea.
Anyway, this entry was created because the discussion on Denise's blog got a bit long. I am too long winded for a comments box too. The question was "So why some Singaporeans tend to think highly of other foreign cultures? Do we really thing our culture is plain boring?Are we too busy studying and working for money? Or are we too pragmatic to think that sports is a waste of time?"
It might be too long if I answered all the questions so I refer to the last one, namely, "Or are we too pragmatic to think that sports is a waste of time?" Not everyone would think that sports are a waste of time. However, pragmatism is surely something on the minds of most Singaporean. My friend once remarked that Singaporeans only want instant success. Again not every Singapore is like that but this remark has its basis. Look at our blooming tuition industry. Poor grades? Pay some money and send them to tuition. Parents are surely looking to instantly boost the grades and tried using money to "buy" better grades. In the sports scene, many sports players are "imported" from overseas. I do not know the inner workings but instead of persisting on purely local players and training them, foreign talent is imported. This time we are importing instant success.
Sports is actually a very important source of pride and nationalism. In an era with no wars, the sports areana is possibly where the most national pride is at stake. I think I better stop here because this might get quite long. Maybe another time. For now, let's hope we can Sing like a Lion.
Anyway, this entry was created because the discussion on Denise's blog got a bit long. I am too long winded for a comments box too. The question was "So why some Singaporeans tend to think highly of other foreign cultures? Do we really thing our culture is plain boring?Are we too busy studying and working for money? Or are we too pragmatic to think that sports is a waste of time?"
It might be too long if I answered all the questions so I refer to the last one, namely, "Or are we too pragmatic to think that sports is a waste of time?" Not everyone would think that sports are a waste of time. However, pragmatism is surely something on the minds of most Singaporean. My friend once remarked that Singaporeans only want instant success. Again not every Singapore is like that but this remark has its basis. Look at our blooming tuition industry. Poor grades? Pay some money and send them to tuition. Parents are surely looking to instantly boost the grades and tried using money to "buy" better grades. In the sports scene, many sports players are "imported" from overseas. I do not know the inner workings but instead of persisting on purely local players and training them, foreign talent is imported. This time we are importing instant success.
Sports is actually a very important source of pride and nationalism. In an era with no wars, the sports areana is possibly where the most national pride is at stake. I think I better stop here because this might get quite long. Maybe another time. For now, let's hope we can Sing like a Lion.
Bad News
Today's lesson on "good news, bad news" delivery was definitely interesting. I actually printed out two quotes from the movie Saving Private Ryan as examples for this particular segment. It might not practice all the principles that were taught but I really found them very sincere and emotional so I decided to share it with the class.
Bad news
"I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln." "
There is one more at the end of the movie which is a good news message. If anyone is interested, they can go check out from movie sites with quotes. I decided to post one to keep the post shorter.
Credits: Saving Private Ryan (1998) from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120815/quotes
Bad news
"I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln." "
There is one more at the end of the movie which is a good news message. If anyone is interested, they can go check out from movie sites with quotes. I decided to post one to keep the post shorter.
Credits: Saving Private Ryan (1998) from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120815/quotes
Monday, January 25, 2010
Intelligence and Culture
Intelligent when most loosely defined is just being smart. However one might ask 'what' smart? Is it book-smart, street-smart or something else? I am raising this topic about intelligence partly in defence of my fellow coursemates during class. When prompted to define emotional intelligence, they were momentarily stumped. I can't blame them. Firstly intelligence is something that is widely taken for granted. A lot of people tend to think of intelligence as just one thing. A second reason that makes intelligence even harder to define is the countless variations of its definitions. In our class, intelligence is split into EQ and IQ. However, some psychologists find this insufficient. If I did not recall wrongly, I think there was one model with 9 different intelligence. In short, it is really not easy to define intelligence. We can only try our best and use what is most convenient for our purposes at the moment.
About culture, I read several definitions about culture in the websites as well. I think it might be useful if we use a term from sociology called solidarity. If I did not remember wrong again, I think solidarity means sharing a certain bond and other experiences between people in a society. Maybe someone could check out a sociology text, haha.
Oh yeah, I suddenly thought about race and ethnicity. I think the textbook the arts students use for sc1101e has quite a comprehensive part on that. A simple argument could be this: Sometimes you look at a person and you think he looks like, say, Korean but in fact the person is from China. The use of physical markers with using race makes it ambiguous when differentiating between two groups of people since Koreans can look Chinese and vice versa. Race is unclear and can also lead to racism and stereotyping. Ethnicity, which is based on shared values and culture, is probably a much better term to use.
About culture, I read several definitions about culture in the websites as well. I think it might be useful if we use a term from sociology called solidarity. If I did not remember wrong again, I think solidarity means sharing a certain bond and other experiences between people in a society. Maybe someone could check out a sociology text, haha.
Oh yeah, I suddenly thought about race and ethnicity. I think the textbook the arts students use for sc1101e has quite a comprehensive part on that. A simple argument could be this: Sometimes you look at a person and you think he looks like, say, Korean but in fact the person is from China. The use of physical markers with using race makes it ambiguous when differentiating between two groups of people since Koreans can look Chinese and vice versa. Race is unclear and can also lead to racism and stereotyping. Ethnicity, which is based on shared values and culture, is probably a much better term to use.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Really rhetorical?
Today in class, See Chai's group talked about using questions. One type of question mentioned was a rhetorical question. Rhetorical questions are questions that usually do not require an answer and the user can use that to drive a point, something that is very useful when it comes to arguments and persuasions.
However, depending on the person on the receiving end of a rhetorical question, responses might be very unexpected and sometimes hilarious. An example from a link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-sred9CCTk
However, depending on the person on the receiving end of a rhetorical question, responses might be very unexpected and sometimes hilarious. An example from a link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-sred9CCTk
From talk to speak, from hear to listen
I think my previous post about communications was a little inappropriate in certain ways but I liked it so much I think I will just leave it there. Meanwhile, this will be my second take on effective communication and myself.
Why is effective communication important to myself? Firstly, I want to start by talking a bit about myself. I wish to pursue my studies as far as I can and then after that, I want to teach at as high a level as possible. Teaching is something that I find very noble and meaningful and it has been my motivation to work hard so far in my university life. Aspirations aside, I want to talk about my weakness in listening. I guess that could be due to a short attention spam as I am often very restless.
This short introduction reflects two important goals that I hope to achieve. One is to become an effective speaker and the second is to become a good listener.
On the first aim, effective communication is vital for me to be able to present confidently in front of a group of people. As mentioned earlier, I have dreams to teach and conducting a lesson requires the speaker to be confident and comfortable. My weakness in these two aspects becoming glaringly obvious whenever I give team talks to my football team. At the start of the match, I often have to brief them on the formation and the approach to the game. While presenting to the players, I always wonder where I should look at, what and how should I speak and where do I put my hands. In everyday conversations with small groups of people, I feel quite at ease. That is, I am comfortable with talking but when I have to speak to a crowd, things just do not fall in place. Hence, effective communication is important to me because it would help me in my future aspirations and also improve me on a personal level.
Effective communication is also essential for me to really listen. In secondary school, my teacher once said that I am hearing and not listening. What does this mean? The two words are similar but yet very different. In hearing, words are being detected by the ears but you might not have understood anything. In contrast, listening is detecting the sound and understanding it. As mentioned earlier, I have a short attention span and this makes it hard for me to continually listen for long periods. This is not good. Often in lectures I miss out on important concepts. In conversations, I might miss out key instructions. Since effective communication encompasses of being a better listener, it is almost a neccessity for me if I were to improve my own flaws. Learning how to listen is, to me, an invaluable lesson in life.
I can talk but I need to speak; I can hear but I need to listen. Having the ability to talk and hear is a gift that many do not have and I hope that I do not waste the potential that these "gifts" can help me to achieve. Effective communication could just be the tool I need to help me in my own personal development.
Why is effective communication important to myself? Firstly, I want to start by talking a bit about myself. I wish to pursue my studies as far as I can and then after that, I want to teach at as high a level as possible. Teaching is something that I find very noble and meaningful and it has been my motivation to work hard so far in my university life. Aspirations aside, I want to talk about my weakness in listening. I guess that could be due to a short attention spam as I am often very restless.
This short introduction reflects two important goals that I hope to achieve. One is to become an effective speaker and the second is to become a good listener.
On the first aim, effective communication is vital for me to be able to present confidently in front of a group of people. As mentioned earlier, I have dreams to teach and conducting a lesson requires the speaker to be confident and comfortable. My weakness in these two aspects becoming glaringly obvious whenever I give team talks to my football team. At the start of the match, I often have to brief them on the formation and the approach to the game. While presenting to the players, I always wonder where I should look at, what and how should I speak and where do I put my hands. In everyday conversations with small groups of people, I feel quite at ease. That is, I am comfortable with talking but when I have to speak to a crowd, things just do not fall in place. Hence, effective communication is important to me because it would help me in my future aspirations and also improve me on a personal level.
Effective communication is also essential for me to really listen. In secondary school, my teacher once said that I am hearing and not listening. What does this mean? The two words are similar but yet very different. In hearing, words are being detected by the ears but you might not have understood anything. In contrast, listening is detecting the sound and understanding it. As mentioned earlier, I have a short attention span and this makes it hard for me to continually listen for long periods. This is not good. Often in lectures I miss out on important concepts. In conversations, I might miss out key instructions. Since effective communication encompasses of being a better listener, it is almost a neccessity for me if I were to improve my own flaws. Learning how to listen is, to me, an invaluable lesson in life.
I can talk but I need to speak; I can hear but I need to listen. Having the ability to talk and hear is a gift that many do not have and I hope that I do not waste the potential that these "gifts" can help me to achieve. Effective communication could just be the tool I need to help me in my own personal development.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Human
"Are we human? Or are we dancer?"
The quote above came from the song Human by The Killers and I felt it is an interesting quote because it poses the question: Are we like humans who can feel and react accordingly to our own free will or are we just dancers who stick to the choreography of the dance? Are we mere puppets of societal pressure? Personally, I feel that we are somewhere in between the two extremes. Humans have the freedom to choose what they want to do and they certainly have free will but this freedom has its limits; Humans are nonetheless bounded by social norms of right and wrong amongst others.
I chose to start with that verse from Human because it emphasises why effective communication is important to me. Effective communication would allow me to express myself and yet be within the acceptable limits set by society. Communication is a platform for me to connect with the world; to tell people my stories, to help them understand me. The ability to speak, signal, smile and cry are the few examples from an infinite range of possible communication methods. The list is inexhaustible. Hence communication is an important avenue for self-expression for myself and also possibly everyone else.
It is important for me to not only communicate but to do so effectively. Effective communication is important for me to express myself as much as possible. Have you ever been in a situation where you want to say something but because of an apparent ability to think of an appropriate way of saying it, you decided to not say it so as not to be called a "weirdo". Good communication skills would allow me to know the limits of acceptability and also give me the ability to stretch this limit as much as possible. In short, effective communication would allow me to speak my mind appropriately. The more effective I am, the more honest I can be with myself and others and with the least amount of repercussions.
I want to be a dancer, perfecting my art and my dance steps and yet still retain my unique individuality because I am human after all.
The quote above came from the song Human by The Killers and I felt it is an interesting quote because it poses the question: Are we like humans who can feel and react accordingly to our own free will or are we just dancers who stick to the choreography of the dance? Are we mere puppets of societal pressure? Personally, I feel that we are somewhere in between the two extremes. Humans have the freedom to choose what they want to do and they certainly have free will but this freedom has its limits; Humans are nonetheless bounded by social norms of right and wrong amongst others.
I chose to start with that verse from Human because it emphasises why effective communication is important to me. Effective communication would allow me to express myself and yet be within the acceptable limits set by society. Communication is a platform for me to connect with the world; to tell people my stories, to help them understand me. The ability to speak, signal, smile and cry are the few examples from an infinite range of possible communication methods. The list is inexhaustible. Hence communication is an important avenue for self-expression for myself and also possibly everyone else.
It is important for me to not only communicate but to do so effectively. Effective communication is important for me to express myself as much as possible. Have you ever been in a situation where you want to say something but because of an apparent ability to think of an appropriate way of saying it, you decided to not say it so as not to be called a "weirdo". Good communication skills would allow me to know the limits of acceptability and also give me the ability to stretch this limit as much as possible. In short, effective communication would allow me to speak my mind appropriately. The more effective I am, the more honest I can be with myself and others and with the least amount of repercussions.
I want to be a dancer, perfecting my art and my dance steps and yet still retain my unique individuality because I am human after all.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Me Myself and I
Hey, this is a short introduction to allow fellow coursemates of ES2007S to know me a little better. My name is Too Soon Yee but everyone can call me Jude if you like. I am currently majoring in Physics and loving what I am doing. Physics is my passion and also my motivation.
My hobbies include football and dance. I would like to talk about my footballing hobby in more detail. I have been playing for near to 10 years and I felt that football has helped me to learn how to communicate with teammates on the field and work hard on aspects that I am weak at. It was also an opportunity for me to show leadership qualities when I had the chance to take up the management of my own team. One of the most important things that I have learnt was to play as a team, win as a team and no matter how ugly or tough things get, one has to take it for the team.
It is a short post just to keep things simple and get the engine running for more posts to come. Have fun and good day to everyone!
My hobbies include football and dance. I would like to talk about my footballing hobby in more detail. I have been playing for near to 10 years and I felt that football has helped me to learn how to communicate with teammates on the field and work hard on aspects that I am weak at. It was also an opportunity for me to show leadership qualities when I had the chance to take up the management of my own team. One of the most important things that I have learnt was to play as a team, win as a team and no matter how ugly or tough things get, one has to take it for the team.
It is a short post just to keep things simple and get the engine running for more posts to come. Have fun and good day to everyone!
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